


A safe place

by Nath_happiness



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-18 13:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21711484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nath_happiness/pseuds/Nath_happiness
Summary: White. That was all Derek could see.He blinked his eyelids and slowly shapes begun to condense into forms in front of him. He was in an unknown, but cozy room, lying on a comfortable bed.Outside the open window, he could see branches and hear birds singing, the sun touched his warm skin and he snuggled into the bed, his mind already slipping. You are safe, it said. You can rest here.Or: Derek has spent too long being afraid of love. This is where he finds the peace of mind to confront those fears.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 13
Kudos: 59
Collections: The Sterek Secret Santa - Edition 2019





	A safe place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [obsessedbutonline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessedbutonline/gifts).



The story starts like this.

(White. That was all Derek could see.

He blinked his eyelids and slowly shapes begun to condense into forms in front of him. He was in an unknown, but cozy room, lying on a comfortable bed.

Outside the open window, he could see branches and hear birds singing, the sun touched his warm skin and he snuggled into the bed, his mind already slipping. _You are safe,_ it said. _You can rest here_.)

*

Derek woke up with a start, in his room. 

Groaning, he reached over the empty side of his bed to search for his phone, grabbing it and realizing he had three missed calls from Stiles. With a sigh, he dialed his best friend, falling back into the sheets. While waiting for Stiles to pick up, he tried to remember what he had been dreaming about but found nothing but a pleasurable feeling left.

“DUDE!” Stiles screamed at his ear, and Derek cringed. “Where are you? Didn’t we plan to meet to buy the gifts?”

“Oh - fuck”, cursed Derek, running a hand through his hair, awareness coming back. “I am sorry Stiles, I don’t - what time is it?”

There was silence on the line, and then Stiles continued more quietly. “You didn’t sleep well last night, did you?”

Derek hadn’t, not really. It took him a long time to fall sleep properly, but Stiles already knew that. He always had trouble relaxing before Christmas. Something about the season unsettled him. “I am sorry, I will meet you wherever you are, I - ”

“No, forget it, we can go later, no problem. I will bring you coffee, alright? Go take a shower, I will be there soon!” Then Stiles hung up, and Derek decided it best not to fight his orders. It never ended well for him anyway.

He felt more human after a shower and met Stiles, who was already in his kitchen. He was arranging their breakfast on the table, still in his deputy uniform, probably coming after a long shift. When their eyes met, Stiles gave him a blinding smile, which helped leave the last traces of anxiety from Derek’s shoulders. _It’s alright,_ the smile said. _I am not angry._

Later, bellies full and laughter in the air, there was no trace of remembrance of the dream left.

*

Stiles showing up at his flat was not a unique occurrence.

After finishing college and the FBI training, Stiles decided to come back to Beacon Hills and continue to live with his father. Derek knew of his plans, they talked on the phone regularly since Stiles' high school years, and Derek himself had decided to give the town another chance, renting a different flat, closer to downtown. He didn’t want to be a lone wolf anymore.

In Beacon Hills there was Sheriff Stilinski always inviting him for lunch, there was even Chris Argent, who started accompanying him on his daily runs. There was also Scott, who returned every few months to hold pack meetings. 

And, most important of all, there was Stiles. Stiles, who came directly to his flat once returning, full of hugs and promises to hang out more. Stiles, who kept his promises, taking him to the movies, to music concerts, to walks in the park. Stiles, who never made him feel like an outsider, or forgotten, or unloveable.

Stiles, who listened to everything Derek had to say, even his silences. Stiles, who looked at him like he mattered.

Just Stiles.

*

(Derek opened his eyes, and he was back in the white room.

This time he got up, softly, distinctly wondering why he was here again. As a supernatural creature, Derek had long ago stopped asking if things were real or not. They happened in his head, so they were real to him. He only needed to find out the purpose of them in his life, and move on.

Outside the room, he followed the smell of bacon and eggs to a kitchen bright in sunlight and found a familiar silhouette on the stove. He choked on air.

“It was time you woke up” Laura turn back to him, and smiled. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

She finished speaking, but Derek had already crossed the room and pulled her into a tight embrace. His sister hugged him back, but eventually pulled back and touched his cheek. “I am sorry,” she said, “but I am not your sister”.

“Don’t joke”, admonished Derek, a little desperate.

“I am not”, she said. “Take a seat Derek, and eat your eggs. I will explain everything.”

The words You are safe here kept rolling around fiercely in his mind, so he sat and begun eating, finding he was ravenous.

“If you are not Laura, then who are you? Why use her face?” Now that he paid attention, he realized it must be true. Laura’s face had imperfections, just like any other human, but the face staring at him right now had a perfect symmetry, otherworldly in their beauty. It looked like his sister, but it was not his sister’s loved face.

“We haven’t met before. I am not a creature or a thing. You can say I am something closer to energy. I apologize for appearing to you in your sister’s corporation, but she was the safest manifestation from your heart.”

She paused and took his hand between hers. “You are safe here, Derek. No harm will ever come to you. You have been in this place for quite a while if I say so myself. That is why I decided to finally approach you.”

Derek began to shake his head, to deny, but deep inside he couldn’t shake the feeling of familiarity he had with this reality. The fact that he was sitting and quietly eating with a stranger in an unknown place told him everything he needed to know. His gut didn’t lie. He often chose not to listen to it, but it never lied.)

*

Agony, pain, and humiliation. When Derek thought about romantic love and the possibility of opening his heart again, he was flooded with those negative feelings, and crippling anxiety overtook him to the point of Stiles having to forbid the pack of touching on the subject. 

After those situations, Stiles always took him home, and put something stupid on TV for them to watch, with Derek’s head in his lap and Stiles’s fingers buried in his hair, soothing and calm and caring. Derek was immensely grateful for him in those moments.

There had been so many people in his romantic life, that Derek sometimes felt like he was soiled, passed around from hands to hands, a hand-me-down person. There wasn’t much of him left, he thought. Sometimes, he had to scrub his skin raw on the shower to take the edge, the memories of it and feel clean. Sometimes, it was difficult to breathe.

And it wasn’t just Kate Argent or Jennifer Blake. Sometimes it was a smaller trauma, things from his earlier years, how every partner he had ever had, male or female, always put his beauty in front of everything else. Like he was just a pretty shell, made to shine and not ask questions. An arm candy. How they would always kindly walk away when they saw the raw, unpolished version of him.

For this reason, he had been single for a long time. Ever since he almost died, achieved the ability to shift into a full wolf and stared at Kate’s gruesome form, something changed in his heart, something clicked into place, and he felt colder inside. He never told another soul, but it was like he wasn’t capable of feeling love as intensely as before. So he didn’t even try.

He didn’t dare.

*

Derek and Not-Laura walked around the cottage (it was a cottage, surrounded by the most beautiful garden had ever seen), languidly and just breathing. Derek took in the flowers, felt the sunlight on his skin, and relaxed in a way he hardly ever did. 

“Do you know where you are?”, asked the creature beside him. “Can you take a guess?”

Derek tried to think. Even with the corporeal place around him, everything still felt fuzzy, and mostly full of white light. Even his clothes were of neutral colors.

If he had to take a guess, he would say - “Sanctuary”. Now that it was out of his mouth, he felt the finality of those words and looked at the presence beside him. She was smiling proudly at him.

“Yes, very good Derek. Do you know why you happen to be here?”

Derek shook his head. “I am sleeping right now in real life, ain’t I?”

She seems pensive. “Yes, and no. Your mind is indeed sleeping, but your heart has been here for quite a long time, you see.”

Derek stopped walking at that. “What do you mean,” he asked, furrowing his brows.

The creature stood taller but didn't look at him, focusing on a rose bush instead.

“Hopeless. Unloveable. A waste of time. Does that sound familiar to you? The people who end up here all share a few connections with you, Derek, and it is all in the way they see love. Romantic love. On their terrible past experiences, how they mold their presents and make them afraid of taking that leap of faith that loving someone requires.” She finally looked at Derek. ”This is a Sanctuary for the souls that have been so burnt by a love that they need somewhere to heal and be safe for a while. Look around Derek.”

At that, Derek becomes aware of the other forms in the garden, he starts hearing laugher and the footsteps of the other residents of the Sanctuary. At last, he looks past them (they are not paying attention to him anyway) and sees a profile outside the fence protecting the garden, but he can’t see anything beyond it.

His companion sees the shift in his attention, and sighs. “Ah, I see you can spot him now. I thought you were completely blind, I am glad that was not the case” 

Not paying attention to her words, he asks. “Who is him?”

“He is your future, but only if you dare to step outside and confront your fears, I am afraid.”

“What,” he states flatly, heart beating wildly in his chest.

“Don’t you recognize him, Derek?”

Before his eyes, the figure starts taking shape, and he would recognize that silhouette anywhere. It’s Stiles, of course. 

It has always been Stiles, hasn’t it?

“What are you so afraid of, Derek?! She asks gently, like a mother admonishing her stubborn son.

And Derek… Derek has nothing to say. What is he afraid of? That Stiles will leave him? Stiles has seen Derek on his worst, most unforgiving days and stayed through them. That Stiles will betray him? He, the human boy who would rather die than leave a packmate behind? That Stiles would never be able to love him? 

Well. If Stiles didn’t love him, he would have found someone better by now, wouldn’t he?

Derek suddenly remembered all those times people at Beacon Hills made flirt commentaries towards Stiles, or members of foreign packs asked for his company, and Stiles refused each time, and always, always left with Derek by his side. 

With the new knowledge, something eased in his chest, and Derek felt years lighter.

“That’s it, boy, here you go. Have a fulfilling life, do you hear me?” Not-Laura hugged him, and Derek enjoyed the contact for a while before thanking her and made his way outside, towards the only person he trusted completely, vulnerabilities and all.

*

Awareness came slowly, and Derek felt the fingers on his hair stilling. 

“Hey, sleepyhead. You missed most of the movie, by the way. I actually can’t believe you managed to nap during John Wick! Only you, dude”, Stiles rolled his eyes, but the fondness of his voice betrayed him. “Sleep well?”

Derek stared at him from his spot on his lap, taking in his darling face, and smiled. He raised a hand to touch his cheeks, and Stiles froze a little. 

“Uhm - Derek?” He asked, a bit shaken.

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore”, spoke Derek softly.

“Okaaaay”, swallowed Stiles audibly. “And that means….?”

For a second, Derek hesitated. But, inhaling slowly, he sat, nuzzling at Stiles’s cheek. He could hear the other’s agitated heart, and it gave him more courage than anything else, it made him feel powerful to know that he wasn’t the only nervous one. 

He stayed close to Stiles’ face, lips almost brushing, sharing a breath. “You are the only person I trust completely, you know that, don’t you? There is no one else I want to spend time with, no one other than you." He licked his lips. "Do you think we could, maybe…”

“Derek”, interrupted Stiles, shaking. “Are you saying what I think you are? I mean, are you sure…?”

“Yeah,” breathed Derek.

“But I am not…” Stiles averted his gaze.

Derek followed the path of his eyes, maintaining their eye contact. “You are not - what?”

“You are not saying this because I am the only option left, right? The safest choice? Because this kind of came out of nowhere, and I don’t want to be a boring choice Derek, I don't.”

Derek couldn’t look into his eyes for this conversation, so he rested his forehead on Stiles’ shoulders, gratified when Stiles hugged him to his chest.

“You are safe, but - Stiles. Do you know what it means to me that I can trust you? That I can believe in what you say? But that is not everything.” Derek swallowed, centering himself on Stiles’s scent, and the hand rubbing his arms back and forth. “I want to spend my life with you. I want to wake up to your voice every day. I realized that I have wanted those things for a long time, but I was too afraid to say anything. I am sick of the past. I want a different future. With you. Do you want that too?”

Stiles sighed, easing the tension around his shoulders, and rearranged Derek so their foreheads were touching. He spoke with a gentle, but determined voice. “More than anything Derek. I want you. I need you. More than anything else. _For so long_ -”

Derek had to kiss him, he had to. So he did.

And when their lips touched, and he felt Stiles so pliant, and wet and soft, he felt another part of him, once forgotten, finally rise and spread its bright wings in his heart.

Smiling into the kiss, Derek felt whole again.

**Author's Note:**

> "This time, I will write something completely funny and lighthearted!" Well, that WAS the plan, I swear, but once I sat and started writing, this happened instead. I do hope you love this story as much I do ♥ Merry Christmas Darling!


End file.
